I am not really sure how to approach this subject so I will try to just relate the facts and let you make your own judgement. It is rather common knowledge that most of the offshore crew have a rather large hard drive filled with all kinds of 'performing ladies' that they utilise in the privacy of their cabins. I am certainly not passing judgment, I mean who can blame them? Some of the guys are here for 6 months at a time.
Anyway, I am currently on a dive vessel called the Pelican. It is not a new vessel but as per all North Sea boats has been fitted out with all the glam. Internet, phones, and most importantly - satellite TV. We have about 20 channels (mainly British), a couple of Norwegian ones and (for those of you who have travelled over here) Canal+. During the day Canal plays mainly movies with the odd sitcom. Around midnight (until usually 3am), canal takes a slightly different approach to entertainment, by throwing on a couple of 'Adult entertainment' movies.
Being on the night shift (midnight to midday) I have never really gotten the chance to experience this channel - until tonight. I got up a little earlier this evening to clean out the nights work so by about 2am I would be free to go and watch some of the NBA finals which were showing on Five. As I walked down to the main TV area I heard an unusual sound of moans and grunts. Entering the main area I was confronted by you guessed it - Hardcore pornography. It puzzled me a little to see a member of our crew (hopefully off shift) sitting there on the couch glued to the set. He paid no attention whatsoever to myself or several others of the crew walking by.
Now this TV was situated in the most public area - right in the middle of the apex where the galley, locker rooms and accommodation meet. It was a little strange that he had chosen this TV location as there were 2 other more private areas with dimmed lighting that could of been utilised for a little bit more discretion. Unfortunately I couldn't go to the other areas because there is no paging service in case I am required up in dive control. Alas I figured the poor man had been away for a rather long stint and was trying to fill up his spank bank before retiring for the evening, so I left him in peace. Bumping into the cook on my way out our conversation turned to the horny individual and I was a little perplexed to learn that he had only been on the vessel for 4 days. I couldn't believe after 4 days this chap had resorted to a dose of public pornography.
About an hour later I headed back down to see if this man had moved on - only to find that he hadn't. He had however found a blanket to throw over himself while continuing to watch his stick flick - and let me tell you his hands were no where to be found. I was shocked. I made a beeline for the exit etching into my brain which couch to NEVER sit on again. 4 Days people! I am very thankful that I should be off this boat on Saturday sometime as I don't really know how this fella is going to cope when he hits 8 days - that's a spectacle I don't want to see.
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