The one with the Clown Shoes

I have often wondered what a sure-fire way of approaching girls was without immediately getting rejected. Last Friday night I believe to have found what could be described as being the closest. In my search for the solution it appeared that I had not thought ‘outside of the box’. It is not the process of approaching the girl that is the key – just the fact that the conversation is initiated.

Friday night began by gathering at a friends house who I had worked with in Perth, to have a couple of pre-drinks before heading out. He lived in a nice area in Clapham Common. There were a few people there and we had the Nintendo Wii cranking to get into the party mode. On a side note may I suggest you not play the Olympics game on this before you go out because it relies on some pretty intense physical activity that will draw a massive sweat.

Anyway we played a number of different events that had us all in stitches. I was a little while into my second beer before I noticed the footwear that the Wolf had chosen to don for the evening – clown shoes. I was wondering how I had missed these as they stood out fairly prominently. The background on the shoes was that on a trip to Dublin the previous week, the Wolf had picked them up rather inebriated. This was confirmed by the ‘left’ and ‘right’ scrawled on them in case it wasn’t clear which feet to put them on. The shoes themselves looked like oversized bowling shoes, were about twice as long as normal, half red, half yellow, with a massive bulge at the end like somebody’s toes had been attacked by a mallet.

After we had downed a couple of more beverages we decided to head to a bar and to my surprise the Wolf continued to wear the shoes. We arrived at a place in the Common called the People’s Republic (a cocktail bar of sorts). I had grabbed my drink and gotten a good possie to see if the Wolf actually was allowed in. He was let in and to my further surprise the bouncers did not even bat an eyelid.

This is where the shoes begin to work there magic. However silly they look, once the females caught sight of the shoes they were instantly intrigued. I am not sure if it is in their genes but I found that something inside of them wanted to find out more. As I spoke to the Wolf, ladies started to come up to begin conversations with him, and the subject was rarely about the shoes. I pondered this further and realised they didn’t really care to know about the shoes – they wanted to know about the guy who wears them.

I am not really sure that the Wolf knew how powerful the shoes were, but once it caught on, all of the gents in the party wanted to have a go. As the night wore on it progressed to a dance off in the shoes with each guy trying to outdo his predecessor and still the ladies came up for a chat.

At the end of the night proving the power of the clown shoes, the Wolf woke up in a bed that wasn’t his own - minus the shoes (that no doubt Gollum had claimed as his precious). It is safe to say that once this power is found out we will have a mass of Ron McD look a likes trooping around the bars. I am almost intrigued enough to purchase a pair of my own.