Saturday 10 May 2008

Aussies – the butt of English jokes?


Working offshore is a funny occupation that draws all types from around the world. My past experiences have involved working mainly offshore in Australia / NZ and parts of Asia. Working in these places usually has a large proportion of Australian and NZ crews so the whole experience is familiar.

It probably took me a couple of days offshore to realise that being the only Australian I was the butt of all the jokes. Being an engineer offshore you usually cop a fair bit of playful abuse and this was compounded by the fact I was an Aussie.

It was a rather strange experience for me – being the foreigner. I think every other situation I had been in had me in the majority. I had certainly taken liberty to dish out a fair amount of (deserved and undeserved) nationality heckling. I guess that is my playful nature and you would all know how much I can love a good argument. And without trying to sound pigheaded I feel have probably won my fair share of them as well. This was always bound to change at some stage and offshore my ‘uppance’ had come.

The problem with the heckling I was receiving – I had very little (but mainly no) comeback.

The rugby was a favourite of theirs and reaffirms my position that England are the worst winners possible. Is this because they rarely win and never expect too, so when they finally do they don’t know how to react but want to gloat for as long as possible? The last match we had been beaten by them. End of story. This argument will not change until the Wallabies get revenge on the 15th of November at Twickenham. And if revenge is not served – mum I am coming home early.

Cricket is off the cards as we haven’t played them for a while and most of the crew don’t give a shit about the game anyway.

Rugby League? I haven’t actually found anyone living here that watches it.

I was at a loss to find a sport that we were currently better in. If only Webber was driving for Ferrari.

Finally I tried to argue how good our country was to live in – I could see they all agreed but then a quick “why are you not living there” shut me down.
“The reasons I am here are for an adventure and the ease to get to Europe.”
“So Australia is not so great on location?”
“No it is awesome – especially because its so far from England”
“So why are you living in England?”
“To watch the Euro Cup”
(For those that don’t know this is the only way to shut down a Pom this year. England failed to qualify for the European Cup and this is a rather sore point, however do not use it frequently because they will realise that Australia is not part of Europe and could never qualify)

I think living in London, however far from home, I have been sheltered from feeling like the foreigner probably as it is truly an international city. I know I have to eventually succumb to the fact that I am far from home, but I hate losing to the Brits – especially on their home turf.
Note: If anyone does have some valid sledging I can use for the next time I go offshore please post it – I am going to need it.

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