J and I got up rather late after an intense drunken PS3 session that lasted until 5am. We decided to head somewhere close and settled on one of my old favourites – the Lucky Shag. We had a fairly good possie on the water and were well on our way when a cruiser pulled up to the wharf in front of us. A couple of wealthy looking gents tied it up and jumped off to head to the bar for a couple. They left their trophy wives (who seemed past their used by date) on the craft.
We continued drinking and realised a fair bit of time must have past when one of the wives started pointing to her watch towards the gents. Paying no attention they continued drinking. A little more time past before the less irate wife decided to hop off the boat and talk to the men. Joining the men she proceeded to share a drink with them.
A little while later it became apparent that they were rather drunk when the 2nd wife came back to appease the 1st. As she crouched down and leaned on the boat to talk to her, the boat began to inch outwards and she hung on helplessly as it arched her over the water. Our shouts had become in unison “Fall, fall, fall, fall”, as it drifted further. Just as it appeared the inevitable would occur the mooring lines became taught and the gap grew no further. She managed to scramble back onto the wharf to our disappointed cries. I guess to settle her nerves she went back to the men to drink some more and we continued on our conversations.
A short while later she meandered back to the boat and we repositioned our stools for a chance to see her second attempt. The crowd had grown a little larger by this stage and we again rose up in unison “Fall, fall, fall, fall”, as she knelt down it appeared she had an epiphany that this method was flawed. Thinking she wasn’t going to give the crowd what it wanted she rose to her feet and moved towards the back of the vessel. She decided to leap down a drop of around a metre onto the Marlin board and landed with what looked like a prefect stick befitting a Chinese gymnast. It appeared to us in slow motion as her hand thrust out to catch the rail, swiping more air than Barbara Streisand, she took a few steps backwards before plunging into the water.
We continued drinking and realised a fair bit of time must have past when one of the wives started pointing to her watch towards the gents. Paying no attention they continued drinking. A little more time past before the less irate wife decided to hop off the boat and talk to the men. Joining the men she proceeded to share a drink with them.
A little while later it became apparent that they were rather drunk when the 2nd wife came back to appease the 1st. As she crouched down and leaned on the boat to talk to her, the boat began to inch outwards and she hung on helplessly as it arched her over the water. Our shouts had become in unison “Fall, fall, fall, fall”, as it drifted further. Just as it appeared the inevitable would occur the mooring lines became taught and the gap grew no further. She managed to scramble back onto the wharf to our disappointed cries. I guess to settle her nerves she went back to the men to drink some more and we continued on our conversations.
A short while later she meandered back to the boat and we repositioned our stools for a chance to see her second attempt. The crowd had grown a little larger by this stage and we again rose up in unison “Fall, fall, fall, fall”, as she knelt down it appeared she had an epiphany that this method was flawed. Thinking she wasn’t going to give the crowd what it wanted she rose to her feet and moved towards the back of the vessel. She decided to leap down a drop of around a metre onto the Marlin board and landed with what looked like a prefect stick befitting a Chinese gymnast. It appeared to us in slow motion as her hand thrust out to catch the rail, swiping more air than Barbara Streisand, she took a few steps backwards before plunging into the water.
The boisterous cheers that ensued I had heard only once before after those immortal words “ and the winner is….. Sydoney”. Her sunnies had been lost as she waded to the boats ladder. By this time her husband had made it onboard and they both failed miserably to bring her into the boat. A full 10 minutes passed before she had been dragged out of the water to receive her standing ovation. The heckling was rampant as a rather embarrassed boatful of people made there way into the evening.
1 comment:
hahahahaha love it!!!!
Post a Comment