The one with the Runner

Last night we had a work function which was a cruise along the Thames. This was a rather funny night in itself but the way the evening ended was the stranger part.

We had ended up at a bar somewhere near the river for a few extra pints. Before midnight I made a quick dash for the last train home. At that time the gates are all open so I figured a free ride was in order. I sat down on the train with my earphones in when there is a tap on my shoulder. Turning around I am confronted by a woman asking me for my ticket. At this late stage of the evening I put on my best ‘are you serious’ expression and casually pull out my weekly travel card. On inspection she mentions that I am clearly not on the Sutton to Wimbledon route. I explain I was on a work function and still travelling home from work so assumed it would be ok. Clearly not buying it I explain further that I fell asleep and went past my stop and was on my way back. Again she disagrees with me stating that the Sutton train does not travel this route.

As a last resort I mention that perhaps I could buy her a drink sometime instead of tying her up with this paperwork. She responds rather positively and scribbles her number on some paper to give me. I tell her I will call and smile smugly at my good fortune. There was certainly no intention of calling her and even less on doing the dirty on my girl.

As we arrive I depart the train and head for the exit when I hear my name “Steve, Steve” (you didn’t think I would give her anything but my fake?) and as I turn around she is standing with another gruff looking ticket inspector. “How about we go for that drink now?” At this stage I thought I would be nailed if I declined as she had brought her friend along. I reluctantly agree and we head towards a bar. Racking my brain to try and work out what my options are for getting out of this - I come to only one conclusion.

At which point I leg it down the street and don’t stop running until I hit the flat.

Interestingly enough I didn’t really feel all that guilty until today when I found out the ‘on the spot’ fine was £20 – which had I known would of certainly coughed up to save the final predicament I ended up in.