The Road to Hana

The Hana Highway is a 68 mile stretch of road that stood between us and our destination. The highway is a complex route of winding, narrow passes including 59 bridges, many dating back to 1910, 46 of which are only one lane wide. The beast contains approximately 620 curves, that winds through a radiant tropical rain forest. The guide said it would take us over 3 hours to navigate. We conquered it in around 2. Without the traffic and a precious wife beside me, I'm sure I could have got this down well under the 2hr mark.

The Playlist

Here is the playlist from the whole wedding day:

Pre-Ceremony:

1.       Talisman / Air

2.       Redford (For Yia-Yia & Pappou) / Sufjan Stevens

3.       Release (edited) / Pearl Jam

4.       La Femme D’Argent / Air

5.       Utopia (Genetically Enriched) / Goldfrapp

6.       Lower Your Eyelids to Die with the Sun / M83

Bride Entrance:

1.       La Vie en Rose / The Mantovani Orchestra

Post-Ceremony:

1.       Sweet Disposition / The Temper Trap

2.       The Best Thing / Boom Crash Opera

3.       Fix You / Coldplay

4.       Chloe Dancer-Crown of Thorns / Mother Love Bone

Beverages & Canapes:

1.       Milestones / Miles Davis

2.       Release / Solar Stone (Paul Oakenfold remix)

3.       The Sad Piano / Justin Martin

4.       I Feel Like / Freemasons feat. Amanda Wilson

5.       Duel of Fates / John Williams

6.       Lola’s Theme / Shapeshifters (Ministry of Sound remix)

7.       Finished Symphony / Hybrid

8.       Make You Feel My Love / Adele

9.       Graceland / Paul Simon

10.    Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down / Alicia Keys

11.    Fairytale of New York (Feat. Kristy MacColl) / The Pogues

12.    Your Woman / White Town

13.    We Are the People / Empire of the Sun

14.    Nightminds / Missy Higgins (Ministry of Sound - Chillout Session 6)

15.    Need You Tonight / Mylo (Ministry of Sound - Chillout Session 6)

16.    Feelin’ Alright / Toby Neal (Ministry of Sound - Chillout Session 6)

17.    Don’t Give Up (feat. Bryan Adams) / Chicane

18.    You Got the Love (New Voyager Mix feat. Candi Staton)  / The Source

19.    Things Can Only Get Better / D:Ream

20.    American Dream / Jakatta

21.    Pjanoo / Eric Prydz

22.    The Gift / Pryda

23.    All I Need / Air

24.    Wait / Alexi Murdoch

25.    Lesson One / Pryda

26.    Rymd / Pryda

27.    M.S.B.O.Y (Original Mix) / Pryda

Bridal Party Entrance:

1.       Sirius / The Alan Parsons Project

Entrance Dance (Tango):

1.       Ella es asi / Edgardo Donato y Sus Muchachos & Horacio Lagos

Dinner Service:

1.       Exogenesis Symphony Part 1 (Overture) / Muse

2.       Exogenesis Symphony Part 3 (Redemption) / Muse

3.       The Asteroid Field / John Williams

4.       Nothingman / Pearl Jam

5.       Midnight Cowboy / Faith No More

6.       Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness / Smashing Pumpkins

7.       Dance of the Sugar-Plum Fairy / Tchaikovsky: The Nutcracker

8.       New York State of Mind / Billy Joel

9.       0078h / M83

10.     Alpha Male / Royksopp

11.     Patience / George Michael

12.     Betterman / Pearl Jam

13.     Dance of the Reed Pipes / Tchaikovsky: The Nutcracker

14.     End Credits (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom) / John Williams

15.     Guitar & Flute String / Moby

16.     No One Like You / Sarah Brightman and the London Symphony Orchestra

17.     Track 13 / Bush

18.     Sunset and Vine / Charlatans

19.     Salt Water / Chicane

20.     I Remember / Deadmau5 & Kaskade

21.     Zdarlight / Digitalism

22.     Sway / Dean Martin

23.     Can’t Help Falling In Love / Elvis Presley

24.     Christmas Lights / Nina Gordon

25.     Penguin / Avicii

26.     Ashes to Ashes (Automatic 5 Dub) / Faith No More

27.     Friendship Update / The Go! Team

First Dance (Slow Dance):

1.       The Way You Look Tonight / Fred Astaire

Dancing:

2.       Amazing / George Michael

3.       Nu Disco / Moguai

4.       If You Were There / Wham!

5.       Just Can’t Get Enough / Depeche Mode

6.       My Delirium / Ladyhawke

7.       When Love Takes Over / David Guetta

8.       Viva la Vida / Coldplay

9.       Sweet Home Alabama / Lynyrd Skynyrd

10.    Barbara Streisand / Duck Sauce

11.     Bohemian Like You / The Dandy Warhols

12.     Buck Rogers / Feeder

13.     We Are Young / Music Magnet

14.     Take On Me / a-Ha

15.     Young Blood / The Naked & Famous

16.     Ruby / Kaiser Chiefs

17.     If (feat. Hazel Fernandez) / Freemasons

18.     Golden Years / David Bowie

19.     Monkey Wrench / Foo Fighters

20.     Can’t Buy Me Love / The Beatles

21.     Ooh La La / Goldfrapp

22.     The Reflex / Duran Duran

23.     New Sensation / INXS

24.     Billie Jean / Michael Jackson

25.     Valerie / Amy Winehouse

26.     Burning Love / Elvis Presley

27.     Bodyrock / Moby

28.     I’ll Be There For You / The Rembrandts

29.     The Bends / Radiohead

30.     A Little Party Never Killed Anybody (All We Got) / Fergie, Q-Tip & GoonRock

31.     Where Everybody Knows Your Name (Cheers Theme) / Gary Portnoy & Judy Hart Angel

32.     Blue Monday / New Order

33.     Blind Faith / Chase & Status

34.     Are You Gonna Go My Way / Lenny Kravitz

35.     Never Tear Us Apart / INXS

36.     Lola’s Theme / The Shapeshifters

37.     Wonderwall / Oasis

38.     Ready Steady Go (feat. Asher D) / Paul Oakenfold

39.     Sunsets / Powerfinger

40.     UFO / Sneaky Sound System

41.     Brown Eyed Girl / Van Morrison

42.     London Still / The Waifs

43.     Toca’s Miracle / Fragma

44.     You’ve Got The Love / Florence + The Machine

45.     I Love It / Sneaky Sound System

46.     Paris Is Burning / Ladyhawke

47.     Theme from ‘New York, New York’ / Frank Sinatra

The New Traveling Companion

On the way back to Australia for the wedding, The Girl and I found a new travelling companion that we want to take with us everywhere. Her wedding dress. We carried this with us on the plane and everything from our flight upgrades, to free bottles of champagne were offered to us. People seemed to take great joy in spoiling us. I guess we had a pre-wedding glow about us as well, but I kind of figured we could certainly reproduce these results for the next couple of years by simply carrying the dress on all our travels.

What I thought was the coolest - the coathanger had boobs to keep the dress in shape!

18 and counting....

The guys I work with are a great crack and the last month has been a bond henchman style countdown to the Girl and my nuptials. In a deep monotone voice, "18 and counting" was this mornings greeting. I think it is pretty cool that they actually worked out how many days left and remember to let me know every day. Here is a clip if you're unfamiliar with the countdown:

This is my favourite scene from any Bond movie. The music, the offshore rig, the henchmen and the countdown make this a classic. But most of all, I absolutely love the final swan dive... 

Prepping for the Worst

I am not really up to date with who is backing who in the Syria debate, but I am not entirely comfortable being a couple of hours by camel from the Northern border of KSA. The only countries standing between the violence and us, are Jordan and Iraq. Apparently the military here are not taking any chances either as they are upgrading the strongholds at the check points, with these impressive looking nests, complete with rotating turret. I'm sure this is all just for show because the soldiers don't appear to be highly skilled or disciplined. Notice they do have all the comforts though with an air conditioning unit on the rear - combatants would certainly do well to disable these first.

If anyone is shooting hoops with Obama in the next couple of days, could you ask him to hold off for another week until I'm on leave?

Honking Doesn't Really Help

On a long drive to another Port for an inspection of a damaged barrier, we came across a caravan of camels (that is the collective noun, I looked it up), which were doing there darndest to hold us up. As we approached the beasts slowed to a crawl and proceeded to cross the road in single file, which kind of resembled a conga line (that probably explains the whole 'caravan' thing I guess).

The last guy was wearing some sort of outfit over his hump which I can only presume was to hide his embarrassingly undersized bulge.

I knew these camels had planned to screw us over as when they finally were out of the way they all huddled up to laugh and discuss what an excellent job of bringing us to a halt they had done.

A Saudi Sunrise

The surreal thing about staying in the desert is the amount of sand that gets blown into the air. On occasions I have to postpone my morning jog as it is too heavy on the lungs. Another fallout from the haze is some magnificent sunrises. It is kind of like a streaking red comet that explodes into a white ball as it reaches the top of the sand barrier, bringing with it the piercing heat. Not sure my camera phone does it justice - but hopefully you get the idea.

Bow tying

On my lonely nights here in the camp, I have taken to brushing up on the final wedding details. Vows and Speech mainly, although I do take the time to practice another important required skill - the bow tie. Of course when the Girl professed a desire for me to suit up in a tux she probably already knew that I would go all out and tie this myself. After the first couple of attempts you can actually start to feel how easy it could be with a bit more practice. I kind of wish I worked in a profession that enabled me to wear one occasionally (and then I remember how awesome my life is without a bow tie, and instantly dismiss it).

I'll leave this with a quote from the 11th Doctor, "Bow ties are cool."

The Shoes

While I was home last, the Girl convinced me to upgrade my thirty quid dress shoes, from Topman, for the wedding. We headed to Saks (on Fifth Avenue) as they had all of the designer labels under one roof. While I meandered about the selection, mostly pointing out the ones I didn't like, we laughed at the price tag of some of the more ludicrous looking ones - I'm sorry but if you are paying more than $2000 for mens shoes then you really need reassess the value of money. Soon enough the Girl grabbed a helpful clerk to assist and after a brief discussion of the occasion he directed me to a lovely pair of shoes. The Girl's eyes lit up and I must say they were pretty good to look at. As the clerk went out the back to grab a range of sizes for me to try on, the Girl excitedly told me she was very happy I was trying on Salvatore Ferragamo's. At that stage, I had to turn over the shoes to see a very expensive price tag staring back at me. The only thing I could think of, was this was from the hide of a famous cow, perhaps it was once "Norman" from City Slickers. Regardless my next move was the beginning of my demise as the Girl said, "Just try them on for a starting point."

The gentleman returned and after a round of slipping on and off the different shapes, I was finally Cinderella with a perfect fit. I got up and walked around the store as the clerk had insisted I do, and all I could think was how did they get the pillows into this fine leather. They were not the hard bricks that I was used to trying on that only feel right on your feet a couple of days before you throw them out. No, this pair felt like they were made for my feet alone. It was around this time I saw the Girl smiling, the clerk had that look where he's thinking about the commission and my destiny sealed to spend a ludicrous amount of money on a pair of shoes. I must say it was a very good experience in general to have the old school salesman measure my feet and fit a range of shoes. My one saving grace was a final word from the Girl, "Don't worry, you didn't spend more money on the wedding shoes than I did." Not sure that is really a victory?

Bingo Booty

On my last night before leaving for Saudi, the Girl decided to spoil me by taking us to my favourite Mexican restaurant, Tortilla Flats. It also happened to be my favourite night of the week there - Bingo Night, where you play for shirts, shots and glory. As the night goes on the bar gets a lot rowdier and the drinking looser.

As luck would have it I won a particular round, known as "the Gin" round, which meant I had to scull a near full pint of gin in order to receive the booty. In one foul movement I picked up the glass, peppered my lips to the rim and threw back the ghastly contents before the throat could taste the poison. I was pretty impressed with my feat, which grew into pride as I received high fives from all of the staff members who looked on wide eyed.

My booty ended up being three T-shirts and shots for the table (unfortunately there was only two of us and the waiter had to drink the Girls, who was working the next day). Once the shots were demolished, I cleaned off the pitcher of potent Sangria that the girl and I had shared (I think she managed a glass and a half). After that, I kind of remember walking to get a Magnolia cupcake, but mostly only waking up the next morning with a nasty headache. What an awesome night though, to send me to the dry Saudi for a month.