The One with the Hidden Charges

This was possibly the most caught out I have been in a while and although I should have expected it from a poverty airline my copious amount of consumed Guinness on route to Ireland probably had a little to do with it. We flew a low budget airline (not mentioning any names but it was the smeggling SOB's Ryanair) to Dublin. Having paid a small sum of £20 for myself and the girl it was unfortunate to find the cost of a bag was £40. Never the less the girl was smart enough to pay this beforehand savind £60 in the process.

Once she had checked this in we proceded back to the bar to consume more of the black stuff. Eventually our flight was called and as we got to the gate myself and another mate were held back because "we hadn't got our visa check" at the outside check in. We waited while they located someone to take us back through customs. Interestingly enough they took about half an hour for this to happen - telling us the plane had already left when the girl was texting me that they still hadn't left the gate. Finally the woman 'fessed up and said this was how the airline made money and there was no way they would let us make that flight.

Finding the amusement in it all we headed to the ticket counter to rebook and pay a missed flight charge (£100). Even before I could go into a witty tirade about the whole situation the man was yelling at us. That is when we found it the most fun - having approached him calmly. Ever willing to egg the old fart on I was held back by the running man as he was pretty keen to get over to Dublin. Once our tickets had been presented to us I told the man what I thought of him and his job.

We then headed to the check in counter to get our "Visa checked". In another moment of hilarity we were told that these tickets didn't need a visa check because they weren't a computer print out. Once I had pointed out that my passport had not been checked and the man realised I was not moving without a stamp he became rather flustered. Another woman came over to help out but unfortunately couldn't convince us we didn't need the stamp. I could not work out why a simple stamp was not being issued so I took it upon myself to reach over, grab the stamp and ink my ticket anyway.

Once we finally got through customs we headed back to the bar and proceeded to down more of the black stuff. When we finally headed to the gate we saw around 20 people being held to the side and told they wouldn't be flying to Dublin that night because they had not gotten the "Visa check" and this being the last flight.

Interestingly this is probably not the drunkest flight I have had however it was certainly the most rowdiest! Our fellow passengers were probably quite annoyed at having to be near us especially after the unusually rough turbulence started to make us feel a tad green. When asking about the lack of a sick bag we were told there was a charge for them. Luckily though there was no charge to vomiting onto the floor - at which they said this charge would be overlooked, (fortunately for fellow passengers we did not require the bag).

The One at Halloween

At Halloween owning a monkey suit can have its advantages in costume selection. Rather than go to a party as a plain ape I decided to vary it up a bit. I bought a waist coat, matching fez, tail and some black wings that produced a costume fresh out of "The Wizard of Oz" - the flying monkey.

The costume was a massive hit and rather appropriate given we spent most of the evening outside. The Girl, like most of the other women there that night, had next to nothing on in her skimpy bumblebee outfit (that I certainly had an appreciation of). This meant she spent most of the night clung to me for warmth.

The whole night was blast until, unable to delay the inevitable any longer, I had to make for a bathroom break. Rather than go the hassle of a near complete costume removal (which I figured would be a regular occurence once the seal was broken) I decided to acquire a pair of scissors and create an easy access. This proved to be a winning solution and the party proceeded with a very happy monkey.