So you may know that the girl and I headed to Marrakech for a few days and while some pretty cool stuff happened I thought I might offer some tips for survival:
Haggle at every opportunity – when I first tried to haggle I was a bit concerned with aggressiveness of the seller. Once I realised that it is like a sport to them it became a lot more fun. If you don’t haggle they won’t sell to you because you’re robbing them of their fun. A lot of the times we got them down to a ridiculously cheap price but threw a couple of extra dirham to them anyway.
When walking the streets ‘La Shukran’ is your best friend – People approach you in the street and talk French or English to try and ‘guide’ you somewhere or sell you something. Uttering the Arabic phrase means you may understand a little of their culture and they will leave you well alone – just in case.
Riad’s are cool…. Period – If you ever want to feel like a Sultan or Prince then a Riad is for you. The room is amazing and they all open into a central area with a pool or fountain.
Moroccan’s lack ability to insult – A boy who tried to show us around was quiet annoyed with me when I told him to go away several times. On the last “I will kick your arse!” he got pretty upset and unleashed some insults at me. The only coherent one was when he stated “You are sex!” Which confused the hell out of me because I thought, awesome who doesn’t like that? He came back and said we were “sex and f&*ks” which again confused me, thanking him for his compliment we walked off.
Moroccan wine is rather tasty – we were very dubious of sampling the wine in Morocco as the climate doesn’t scream out with favourable grape growing weather. I am glad we did though because we were both impressed. If you can find it a drop called ‘Les Vins de Cepage’ was exceptional and at 100 dirham’s (£7) a bargain.
Market food is great… however – it will give you the dodgy belly. We waited until the last night for this one and I am glad because it gave me the trots for a couple of days after. Thankfully I still felt fine in my stomach.
There are way too many storks in Marrakech – Every wall tower or high point contains a large nest and pair of storks. My main concern was that they would drop a baby into the girl and mines room at night - so the door was securely locked.
Cous Cous, cheap wine and belly dancing is essential for every dinner – Meals cooked in Tajines not only look cool but taste amazing. When finishing off the evening with a show you can relax back in the cushions and enjoy.
When you’re in the Atlas mountains – and the guide says “We go a little higher up the cliff – don’t worry there are 2 of us to help you up”, take note that there is NO safety ropes. Don’t get me wrong they were rather good at holding your feet in the footholes and pulling you over ledges but I seriously doubt whether or not they would of hung on had you slipped and I am sure they have no insurance for these matters. We did come through unscathed and I must say was rather proud of the girl for accomplishing it considering I don’t think I know any girls that would of attempted – especially wearing thongs.
Cactus have fruit….. tasty fruit at that – Can anyone tell me they knew that cactus provided fruit? Have all the cartoons I watch left out this vital info for a reason? Most corners in Marrakech have a cactus fruit vendor selling the fruit cheap. I highly recommend a sampling because it is surprisingly delicious.
If your afraid of snakes, keep aware in the main square – the locals are likely to come and put a snake, chameleon or monkey on your shoulder if you are standing around unaware in the hope you give them some money. The more you scream the more fun they believe you are having and expect more money.
If you venture into the square at night intoxicated, expect to do something to get chased out – After a rather long afternoon of drinking at Kosybar we headed towards the Square for dinner. There was a show about to start and a woman was coming around to everyone asking for money. She heckled us for a while and explained that firstly I haven’t seen them do shit yet so wasn’t going to pay and secondly I hadn’t seen a single person give her any money. She let us be. The show started and if the exclamations I made that the dancers “were all dudes” and dressed in a female belly dancing outfit the final straw was when I took a photo. The original woman screamed and started towards us. I didn’t fret until I saw the two large guys behind her that turned us to flee. As we pushed through the crowd I grabbed a handful of change, throwing it on the ground shouting “Free Money!” a la Bond (See mum those years of couch potatoing finally had a pay off). I am not exactly sure if they had already stopped pursuing but I like to think my my quick thinking saved us from the death penalty.
Haggle at every opportunity – when I first tried to haggle I was a bit concerned with aggressiveness of the seller. Once I realised that it is like a sport to them it became a lot more fun. If you don’t haggle they won’t sell to you because you’re robbing them of their fun. A lot of the times we got them down to a ridiculously cheap price but threw a couple of extra dirham to them anyway.
When walking the streets ‘La Shukran’ is your best friend – People approach you in the street and talk French or English to try and ‘guide’ you somewhere or sell you something. Uttering the Arabic phrase means you may understand a little of their culture and they will leave you well alone – just in case.
Riad’s are cool…. Period – If you ever want to feel like a Sultan or Prince then a Riad is for you. The room is amazing and they all open into a central area with a pool or fountain.
Moroccan’s lack ability to insult – A boy who tried to show us around was quiet annoyed with me when I told him to go away several times. On the last “I will kick your arse!” he got pretty upset and unleashed some insults at me. The only coherent one was when he stated “You are sex!” Which confused the hell out of me because I thought, awesome who doesn’t like that? He came back and said we were “sex and f&*ks” which again confused me, thanking him for his compliment we walked off.
Moroccan wine is rather tasty – we were very dubious of sampling the wine in Morocco as the climate doesn’t scream out with favourable grape growing weather. I am glad we did though because we were both impressed. If you can find it a drop called ‘Les Vins de Cepage’ was exceptional and at 100 dirham’s (£7) a bargain.
Market food is great… however – it will give you the dodgy belly. We waited until the last night for this one and I am glad because it gave me the trots for a couple of days after. Thankfully I still felt fine in my stomach.
There are way too many storks in Marrakech – Every wall tower or high point contains a large nest and pair of storks. My main concern was that they would drop a baby into the girl and mines room at night - so the door was securely locked.
Cous Cous, cheap wine and belly dancing is essential for every dinner – Meals cooked in Tajines not only look cool but taste amazing. When finishing off the evening with a show you can relax back in the cushions and enjoy.
When you’re in the Atlas mountains – and the guide says “We go a little higher up the cliff – don’t worry there are 2 of us to help you up”, take note that there is NO safety ropes. Don’t get me wrong they were rather good at holding your feet in the footholes and pulling you over ledges but I seriously doubt whether or not they would of hung on had you slipped and I am sure they have no insurance for these matters. We did come through unscathed and I must say was rather proud of the girl for accomplishing it considering I don’t think I know any girls that would of attempted – especially wearing thongs.
Cactus have fruit….. tasty fruit at that – Can anyone tell me they knew that cactus provided fruit? Have all the cartoons I watch left out this vital info for a reason? Most corners in Marrakech have a cactus fruit vendor selling the fruit cheap. I highly recommend a sampling because it is surprisingly delicious.
If your afraid of snakes, keep aware in the main square – the locals are likely to come and put a snake, chameleon or monkey on your shoulder if you are standing around unaware in the hope you give them some money. The more you scream the more fun they believe you are having and expect more money.
If you venture into the square at night intoxicated, expect to do something to get chased out – After a rather long afternoon of drinking at Kosybar we headed towards the Square for dinner. There was a show about to start and a woman was coming around to everyone asking for money. She heckled us for a while and explained that firstly I haven’t seen them do shit yet so wasn’t going to pay and secondly I hadn’t seen a single person give her any money. She let us be. The show started and if the exclamations I made that the dancers “were all dudes” and dressed in a female belly dancing outfit the final straw was when I took a photo. The original woman screamed and started towards us. I didn’t fret until I saw the two large guys behind her that turned us to flee. As we pushed through the crowd I grabbed a handful of change, throwing it on the ground shouting “Free Money!” a la Bond (See mum those years of couch potatoing finally had a pay off). I am not exactly sure if they had already stopped pursuing but I like to think my my quick thinking saved us from the death penalty.
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