Summer has Arrived

I finally know what they mean when referring to "extreme temperatures". The heat is quite devastating. The throat burns as you breathe in the putrid air. Your skin feels like it is burning, not just on the exposed part, but all over. Thank you Saudi for this explanation and please leave further examples until next year.

Hump Day

So the Girl sent me an email saying how much a struggle it is today, Wednesday - Hump Day. Having such resources in abundance here in Saudi, I couldn't resist sending this back.

The Races

Saturday was the 3rd race of the Triple Crown, otherwise known as the Belmont Stakes, or to the punters in the general admission a "white trash bash". A mate and I decided to head over to try our luck. The menu for the day were cans, shooters and cigars which was a throwback to the days of the Perth Cup. We had some luck with a Trifecta early on thanks to a couple of late scratches which put us in the gambling zone often referred to as a "lucky streak".

The big race was coming around and I already had my winner picked. Palace Malice, named for the Basketball Brawl 9 years ago at The Palace of Auburn Hills in Detroit between the Indiana Pacers and some guys in the crowd. For those who missed it, yes there was a brain explosion from a couple of members of the Pacers who took offence to a couple of fans in the stands who had tried to cool them down by launching a drink in their direction. The players did some launching of themselves over seats to dish out some cooling of their own using fists. The altercation led to suspensions totalling 146 games for the players and was dubbed "Malice at the Palace". Being an avid fan of disliking the Indiana Pacers, I took it upon myself to see it as a sign to jump on the horse that was named after an event that set the Pacers organisation back 9 years before they could muster another team that could legitimately challenge for a title.

So it was we put the house on the horse, perhaps not my house but certainly one that would have raised an eyebrow on the Girl had she been present. We took the fine beast in the Trifecta as well. At 15 to 1 with not even an outside chance given it was possible my day would come to an early close. That is until the final straight when he found the courage of the 2004 Pacers team, to unshackle convention and head for the metaphorical stands at the end of the track. It was such a glorious win that we didn't even notice the remaining place getters were also in our trifecta. Such a glorious day to end with a shower of Benjamin's.

There’s something in the water

I think the combination of sand and chemicals in my shower water have seriously done something to my hair. A combination of 5 weeks in Africa, 2 weeks in Australia and 6 weeks here have made it impossible to get a cut so I am now walking around with a white mans fro. Lucky for me I can pretty much pull anything off but let's hope I get time for trim before the nuptials.

Censoring the Classics

It seems to me, here in Saudi, they tend to censor a lot of television. I just switched on the box to find Austin Powers II on. There is a ridiculous amount cut out: swearing, references and images of female anatomy (male seems to be fine), music and even the word “God” is bleeped out. Unfortunately all this censorship limits the movie to about a half of its viewing time and most of the scenes when run together don’t even make sense. 

The Office View

Although there is a lot of sand and camels here, I actually have a nice view out of my office.

Unfortunately my office is in a container in the carpark next to the Aramco office building. But if I look out the window and hold my nose I can almost imagine being in an oasis.

 

Sandstorm

We got caught in our first sandstorm the other night. A wall of sand bellowed towards us, apart from the lack of a “mummified face” growling after us, it was pretty much just like the movies. We lost our vision and had to navigate by looking for the side of the road and surging on (a note to the kiddies: you are supposed to pull over to the side and wait it out, a note to the grown ups: you are such a pussy if you pull over – in fact I recommend you don’t drop less than 40). It was a little surreal to be driving around in this but was an experience I am glad to have experienced. Who would have thought that scene in the latest Mission Impossible where they are driving through Dubai during the sandstorm was the most realistic thing in the movie?

Hello Saudi

The country looks like it was founded in a desert. Not the magnificent spectacle you expect to see a couple of droids making their way across but more like the barren wasteland beyond the Thunderdome. There seems to be nothing but camels and goats to break up my view of another dune. There seems to be an everlasting haze of sand in the air.

Meeting Benny Jr

On our Journey home we had to call into Sydney to meet the latest addition to the family. William Benjamin Gilkes. It goes without saying I am calling him Jr. He has a loud set of lungs on him and makes you work for a smile, but when you get one from him it lights up your day. If you are lucky enough to get a laugh as well he does the whole body shake that draws you into his excitement.

 

The week of wedding cra…..errr…. finalising

We spent a week in Queensland to finalise the wedding stuff that The Girl had arranged. The venue, celebrant, photographer, flowers, hair, dresses and cake. Wait I should also throw in here that I got final approval of the cake. I don’t know why I feel like that is an important point but I think it should be. Anyway it was clear that she had the bulk to do and we would have to meet, see and taste everything on this brief trip back to the motherland. If you are planning on a wedding then I highly recommend you do it this way. Give yourselves a week to get it together. And then you can just forget about it. Unless of course you are getting married at the end of that week and then all I would have to say is "how does the shotgun feel in the back of the ribs?"

The venue was awesome. A very classy establishment to match my bride. The sample menu food there was delicious. Early on we had gotten over the fact that we didn't really care what everyone else wanted to eat - we would just get whatever we wanted. When you're paying by the head it is very easy to get into an 'us' versus 'them' mentality. Us being the ones who have to be impressed by the wedding and them, if who are not impressed should either fake it or keep their feelings to themselves. I don't think anyone will complain about the free meal they are receiving but really the whole point of the day is for everyone to watch the Girl and I enjoy ourselves. I'm happy for people to not come and buy me a beer down the track somewhere if it means I won't have to hear any complaints.

I kind of like the idea of running the wedding like a reality show - every half hour we get to cut four people. We can give some criteria I guess - worst dressed, most annoying, person having least fun, the vegetarians. Think of the possibilities. I have to now go and think of a way to sell this to the Girl...