For some unknown reason I decided to take the girl to Tallin for Christmas. The diver was over for a SAT course and tagged along as well as 2 of the girl's friends. We travelled over on Christmas Eve and were met with a pretty thick cover of snow. It made quite the scene as we got a taxi to the apartment. Tallin has an area called the old town which is found within the old city walls. Once entering the old town you couldn't help but feel thrust into the middle ages and apart from the modern cars it certainly lived up to its name. The apartment we had was rather large and had a sauna.
On Christmas Eve we decided to head to an authentic olden style restaurant. I was rather chuffed when I learned how old school it was. No electricity, no running water, no glass, nothing modern except the patrons themselves. There was a tea pot in the bathroom to wash your hands. The tasty beer was served in a large mug. In fact everything was made from pottery. And possibly the best thing was the menu. As I perused the delicacies my eyes came across the "King of the Forest" - Bear. I pondered whether or not I felt right about eating such a gracious beast (without killing it with my bare hands) but was soon persuaded by the buxom waitress to give it a go. I was glad I did because it tasted sensational. Although a little gamey throughout the texture of the meat was like nothing I had tasted before. We ended the evening at a beer hall which was about when my memory gets a little hazy.
Christmas day was spent at the apartment with way to much food and alcohol. It was rather late in the day when the Diver and I were sent out to grab something from the store. Considering the beer hall was on our way we figured it would be quite rude not to stop in for sneaky stein. As we entered we were chastened to leave our coats with the clerk. Considering we were on a tight schedule we waved the man away and tried to keep on into the hall. He shouted that we were required to leave our coats. I politely disagreed as it was obvious the majority of people already in the joint had kept there coats with them. As we turned around to enter our path was blocked by a midget (or dwarf I suppose but who can tell the difference?) Seeing the midget in itself was not unusual - however, the fact that he was dressed like a pirate was. He growled at us and pointed to the door. The diver and I absolutely lost it and released some hefty laughter. This spurred the midget on to start using strong words (totally in Estonian) at us, and escorting us out the door. I believe that will be the last time I ever see a midget pirate bouncer guarding a beer hall.
The final night we were in Tallin the Diver and I decided to try the bar that was under our apartment. The place opened at midnight and unfortunately did not display what time it closed. This was possibly a mistake on our behalves as we were due to fly out at 8am. It was a small club with the second room playing porn on the big screen. It felt a tad unusual to see such things on the screen so we decided to sit ourselves in the other room at the bar. The 2 barmaids were rather scrumptious looking so the Diver thought it would increase his chances with one of them if we tried every type of shot on the menu. I am not sure how far through the list we got before I got a text from the girl around 6am asking if we intended to get the taxi with them at 6.30. From that moment onwards I don't remember getting back to the apartment, packing, heading to the airport or even getting on the plane. I do remember waking up at Stansted thinking I was still ridiculously drunk. I guessed the Diver was feeling the same because he was help up at immigration for half an hour trying to convince the guy to let him into the country. It possibly didn't help that I was shouting "Send him home" from inside.
I would give Tallin a 4.5 star rating and recommend it highly.
